Some Wisdom

As I go through this new journey of acceptance, I realize that my focus needs to be checked. Dealing with layers of acceptance comes with replaying events or situations, so that we can undo, unlearn and relearn and this can make one very vulnerable.

It is so easy to go back to the past, it is comfortable, even a past that has rejected you, can look good because it is familiar and therein lies the trap of the enemy.

Moving forward means excatly that, moving. If there is nothing to focus on as we move, the temptation of accepting an ex even when you know it is not the best, and even when you know that the seperation was indeed for the benefit of good, people tend to go back.

They go back because there is nothing to really work on or work in, everything is familiar and so there is no stretching, there is no breaking of new ground, there is no new seed, there is nothing but familiarity, and that breeds contempt.

So the book of Proverbs has been something that I have been reading and has some real good nuggets!

If you have never read this book take time and read it, and lets get some wisdom as we maneuver this journey called life.

Advertisement

Acceptance

I am not currently administrating where I was, which has given me the time to get into the most challenging project, administering myself. What I have learnt is; it is far much easier to see for others then to see for yourself. It can be so much easier to love others than to love oneself. Finding the time to spend on others and help them, comes so naturally to me, then doing it for myself. This reality check has indeed shocked and surprised me.

I am still in my stillness of acceptance. As an administrator, things move fast- hourly, sometimes within minutes, we have to change course or get a new one, so acceptance in that regard was easy, it was part of the job. This kind of administration, self administration is taking me into a whole new area that I had never really taken the time to be still in and accept.

Make no mistake, I do love myself. However it is fascinating to me, that love which has to be applied or better yet acted on or out -the doing, is very challenging for me at the moment; to actually do it for myself.

I have to reconsider, what brings me joy? what do I want to be doing in this new season? What is the purpose for arising and shining this year? What impact do I want to achieve? where do I want to live? and so on and so forth.

The beauty of new beginnings and newness, is that it comes with its own free course. I know I am not alone on this journey, and just maybe, my Arising may just be taking place.

Be still

I have been reflecting on the way forward with my friends. I had a few conversations with some of them, some have been understanding, others have not taken this newness of self very well, I have given them the permission they need to go through all the moods.

It was a busy week with tears, laughter and finally getting to the place of acceptance. It is interesting how things can change, sometimes so slowly that you have no awareness. When the awareness happens you wonder “what hit” you.

There is a pain that cannot be described when you come to acceptance. A pain of letting the past go. The pain of knowing some dear friends who you have loved for some years, you cannot go with you into the newness. The pain of ending of seasons. What I came to realize is even in ministry there is pain. Pain in being planted, pain in growing, pain in the process of bearing fruit, pain in the pruning and my goodness pain in being uprooted and being replanted elsewhere.

There is always a reason for the season. Sometimes you may know why it is happening other times you may never know. For now I really cant say what the reason for this new season is, or the reason for why it happened the way it did.

All I know is that I must move forward. Paul in the Bible says that we forget the things of the past and push forward to the calling that is up ahead. So, as one season comes to and end and before I Arise fully into the new season, for a moment or two or even three; I will be still.

Old versus the New

I am the kind of person who has an appreciation for the old; old buildings, the architecture, the fact that the old buildings are still around up to date. I hear the older wine, the better the taste and aroma. In my culture we consider the older people in society have a lot of wisdom. Actually there’s a saying “old is gold”; so letting go of the old is not easy for me.

As I took in the sunset of the day, I looked at how much progress I felt was making, forgiving myself and others, setting boundaries for my peace of mind and my soul.

The next thing I had to do was to have a look on those I surrounded myself with, my friends my family and my workmates. Some of these people I had known for many years, few were recent arrivals so to speak. There is a saying “show me who you hang around with and I will tell you where you are going” in other words birds of the same feather flock together or something like that.

Well I got to look at my feathers and where they had gotten me so far. I was a little bit uneasy of taking a good hard look at my values and character and indeed those of my friends. Had we improved? had we gained knowledge, experience and value or were we the same? what was our impact or my impact for that matter? what “good” had come out of our association, our friendships? Was it positive or was it negative? and did I want to keep this up or change?

The truth was there was little to show or to see about my friendships. We had not done anything spectacular nor anything detrimental. I must admit that we were perhaps better as individuals in terms of growing in our careers or skills but as friends we really had not impacted each other much.

I decided that needed to change. I want to have an impact on a life, I want to transform, grow, increase my capacity and knowledge and influence so that I can be of service to others and spread the good news to as many as I can.

As the sun went to sleep that night, I realized that on this journey that I had started to embark on some friendships would come to an end. Our seasons hand changed and the time had come to move on without each other. It got me thinking of new wine, new friendships, new roads, newness and growth. New wineskin.

Mark 2:22 (AMPC)

And no one puts new wine into old wineskins; if he does, the wine will burst the skins, and the wine is lost and the bottles destroyed; but new wine is to be put in new (fresh) wineskins

Setting up my Heart

The forgiveness day knocked me out. I had to really get into my heart and see what was really going on. It is one thing to say that you have forgiven someone, it is another thing to now live it out.

I have come to realise that one must be extremely honest with one self. The people we forgive some of them you can reach out to and have a chat and let them know what really has been going on, others on the other hand will never know and therefore may repeat the same thing they said or did, so it is important to do the other thing that I did, set boundaries.

Boundaries are important and the most important one you need to set as I have come to see is guarding your heart with all due diligence. This is so important. I mean even the Book on Wisdom says it better.

Proverbs 4:23 (AMPC) Keep and guard your heart with all vigilance and above all that you guard, for out of it flow the springs of life.

All relationships need to have some sort of boundaries and also a clear and concise understanding for those who are within my environment that there will be consequences if these boundaries are violated. This may sound dramatic but respect is important and that can only be given if you have a boundaries. Love respects boundaries, this I am learning. If someone truly loves me, then they will respect the boundaries in place.

I felt so accomplished with those insights that I decided to go into town and treat myself to some ice cream and a stroll. This process of letting go is not easy but it sure will be worth the time.

The Pause

Well, dinner was excellent. I mean the food was fresh, the ambience was lit, I just wanted the evening never to end. The aromas, the décor, the people, the music oh I wish I could have the right words to explain how exquisite the evening was.

It was time to head back to the hotel and head out to the airport. As I stepped back into my room and looked at my suitcase and passport, I felt a huge urge to cry. I don’t know why, but before I could even get my mind around the emotions, my tears were falling, soon I was sobbing, and then the flood gates of my eyes burst open.

I don’t recall all the details but I made all the arrangements that needed to be made for me to stay behind.

I realized that moving forward is what I still plan to do, but I cannot move onward, with all the baggage of the past. The unresolved issues of my heart, my soul -my life. I knew that I had been running away from dealing – facing my hurts and fears and going forward to a new place without any restoration would not be wise.

I managed to bid my new youth friends bon voyage and got my self some much needed rest.

As I looked outside at the sunrise, I got a sense of peace. Almost as if heaven was giving me a nod to go forth and surrender everything that needed to be given up, hence the process of letting go began. I began to look at every area of my life and let things go.

I started with Forgiveness. It is so easy to carry life issues in ones heart and not let the hurts and pains go. I needed to first deal with all the decisions I had made that brought me pain or hurt me and others. It is easy to want to justify my decisions at the time, however the result or the fruit of that decision is the best indicator of good or bad. So I began to forgive, one painful one was the failed relationship with some of my friends, the ending of a courtship, and the end of my services where I had been working.

I spoke out every emotion that I had felt, the pain it caused me and others and I forgave myself and others. At the end of the day my eyes were red, my face looked swollen and my voice was barely there but I was feeling so much better. I felt like some weight had indeed fallen off and I felt a tangible presence of peace.

In between

I am still contemplating what to do. Do I head off to the airport? Do I stay and see what this new place has to offer? I cant go back home, that is for sure.

The truth is, I am a tad bit unsure. Home will always be home. It is safe. It is very predictable, if I do go back I will just fall back into place and life will almost be the same. If I go forward, it sounds so exciting, terrifying, a real adventure.

Or do I take a detour….. before my new adventure and take time to smell the coffee or the roses? or the chocolates? the things that got me here in the first place?

What do I really want to do this in this Year 2022… With everything that has been happening, I am starting to think perhaps I need to take a detour. See more, feel more, live more, explore more, move more, learn more, take everything in, with one big spoon…..

I look at my passport and I look at my ticket, what should I do? As I am just about to make my decision my phone rings, its the merry youth who are back and want me to get ready so that we can go out for dinner. Yes, I need to eat something and we have time so let me go do that first then make up my mind.

While on a journey

I wanted to spend time on a slower pace, so I let the young people go do their thing. We did agree to meet up for dinner and head to the airport together. Since I had the day to myself I did not rush into the day. I took time to reflect on this long journey.

As I walked about the streets that day, I was reminded of a story at the museum of some of the battles the people had to go through to become who they are today. How others fought and other left before the fight, at the end of it all there was success – a city and a nation was born.

I wondered why it had taken me years to get here, to travel. I had opportunities before and didn’t take them. Now here I am in between – one side my home, the other side my new opportunity.

In between; how many people give up or settle in between. It is easy not to move forward and stay in between. As I stroll it dawns on me that many people I have encountered were in between, and decided to stay. They saw opportunities right there and then and grabbed them, others fell in love with the country and city. Others took a chance on themselves and decided to stay not going forward.

Now I know I said keep the focus and the main thing the main thing, however if you do count your costs and find out that your goal can be achieved on the way – it is worth considering. And so I go back to my hotel room to do a little bit of considering.

Detours can be insights

As I make my way to my home for the next 48 hours I am happy to find out that I am not alone. A group of young traveler’s missed the same flight and are heading to the same hotel. I love hanging out with the youth, they are full of excitement and wonder just like me!

On our way, I overhear them talking about touring the city the next day – as they said You only live once! (Yolo) well I politely disagree in my heart. We get to live daily, but that was not the time to bring that up. They ask me if I would join them, and I accept – why not it would be fun, the more the merrier. We start to plan where we should go. We agree Museum’s are the best place, as they tell the story of the people, their origins and all. After that we all agreed that we should eat something “native” for the experience and finally have a sunset evening with music and dinner.

As I checked into my room I was grateful to have missed my flight. I rarely go out on adventures back home. The night was short and sweet and the morning came as fast as it could, to quench our excitement.

We boarded a tourist bus and off we were on our adventure to see new things. It got me thinking, how many opportunities do I miss or create? why do I shy away from doing certain things at home yet, here I am with a group of people I really do not know, having a great time. Did I create this opportunity with the sideshow business or was this divinely planned? whichever way I write down – while on transit – get to know people, go out learn your environment as much as possible and when all is said and done, enjoy the moments.

As I headed back to my room that evening, I was full. Actually I think I was overflowing, with gratitude for the day. I took as many pictures that I could, I laughed, danced, ate some interesting food and actually got to be part of this thing called living. My prayer that night was full, of thanks for those young souls, for new places, for sight and sounds.

I made a conscious decision to take more “risks” within reasonable perspective.

There is always a cost

There is a time or a moment when we get to choose what we are going to do. Do we want to move forward, go back or remain where we are. This decision does not come at the beginning of a New Year, or at the end – it can present itself anytime even at an airport that one is not supposed to be in!

Having stuffed myself with all manner of delicious sweets and heavenly coffee, I have to make a choice – that will cost me. Now, that’s the thing. Choices have costs and consequences. Do I top up and get on another flight on another airline to my destination? Do I wait for the next available flight with the same airline at my own cost of hotel accommodation? or do I stay in this new city and explore – and of course find out if I require a visa that can be issued at immigration.

In this thing called life we have been given the privilege to choose. Sometimes though it looks better when we have someone else with us to guide us to make the “right” choice, and hopefully as they do they bear the consequences of the choice as well.

At this point I need to count my costs first. And may I say that this should always be the first thing you do when making any decision or choosing anything – Count the Cost.

As it happened I did’nt have enough money to top up my ticket to get to the next flight on another airline, so I was left with the option of waiting and agreeing with the airline to go back to the hotel at my cost and take the next flight out in two days. With that agreed upon and with their help with immigration I was extended a visa to stay for the next 48 hours in this beautiful city…. at my own cost!

Its all good, and it’s all God!

Greetings from New Wonderful, Beautiful, Shinny and Glorious Year of 2022.

I am super excited about this New Year 2022. Honestly I feel like we have achieved something so big already.

It’s been a challenging time from 2020 to now. I think it would only be fair to give thanks and celebrate being able to be here at this time.

When I look back over the past couple of months, they’ve been days when I have cried for family and friends that took their last breath. At the same time, I was rejoicing cause others were being born. At the same time, others were making life choices that changed their entire family life – people moved to new countries, territories and even got out of jobs or got into jobs.

There was and still is Life.

So today take a moment and truly take in that deep breath, go outside in the snow or in the sun and really be present. Take in all in. You have such an opportunity to see, hear, feel and smell -even if you got covid your sense of smell will come back – I believe it for you in Jesus Name. Take time to really be here, on this earth realm and acknowledge your own presence. You are here. You have life!

Take that extra photo, take that extra hug, give that extra smile, that extra kindness, that extra patience, that extra forgiveness. Take all the extras for yourself and then….

Give them to everyone you meet this year, and I promise you, not only will you feel so much better but the Year will grow more beautiful with each passing day of your extra!

I thank you all for reading my blog, I don’t take it for granted. You have given me your time and it’s an honor to have you here. My prayer for you for 2022, is as we move ahead is whatever you have ever imagined or wanted to do, do it this year! go ahead and do it – but do it with all your extra and at the end we shall say together that you had an extraordinary Year!

Sideshows

Sometimes transits can be simple if all the few lessons in the 101 guide are followed. The 101 guide is not exhaustive, and I wish that I could declare that I followed even one of those lessons!

Instead, I literally got stuck at transit. My next flight had left without me noticing because I got carried away by a sideshow. What got me distracted you might want to ask? well the simple things in life- the shinny things in life! Duty Free shops!!!

I went for a walk about the airport, to pass the time to my connecting flight. I went into one shop that had the fragrances that could only be inspired by heaven. The next one was the chocolate pastries, chocolate bars, and coffee that must have accompanied the fragrances from heaven to earth. I tell you the truth had to take a seat, take a bite and drink that coffee, and as I did all this, I just got a moment of real relaxation. I guess I was too relaxed because I forgot all about time.

After my beautiful time in heaven, I came back to reality and checked my ticket and gate number. I wish I had done that before, as I was in the wrong terminal and needed to take a bus to my new terminal and gate.

As you transit, do not get distracted by sideshows. Keep the main focus the main focus even when counterfeit heavens appear!

Transition 101

 As you may have caught up with me – I am on transit. I have not yet reached my final destination.  

 I figure I should share a few things about moving- be it from one year to another, one season into another or even moving within- like getting a promotion within the same company or area of work.

• Always remember that in this journey you cant go with your friend or colleague. It is about you. You are the one getting the promotion, elevation so it requires you to understand that you may leave others “behind” as you go forward. This is so important because most of us delay our move because of others; we want to go with someone not alone. However whenever there is an elevation there is always separation. 

•  Transitions are exciting because you are moving into a new way or newness or greater responsibilities which may even come with more revenue.  Let this not make you loose focus. Keep the end in mind. Don’t loose focus. The story is told of 5 wise virgins and 5 foolish ones. The 5 wise ones carried extra oil while the 5 foolish ones went on without oil and began to beg for oil from the wise ones. The wise ones refused to share their oil (they kept their focus) they knew that the bridegroom could come anytime.  The foolish ones went out to search for oil  and were locked out of the party.  Keep the main thing the main thing -even as you move into the new thing!

• You must let go of the past. The glory of what got you into the new will NOT keep you in the new. What was past is exactly that – the past. Now step into new areas – be it accounting, reading, writing whatever that you need to stretch yourself into do it. Remember  Lots wife? for whatever reason even after being guided and warned looked back. Don’t get me wrong, reflection is good when used correctly but believing that the past is better than the future is wrong! Your future and this new move is always greater and better than the past! 

• No complaining no murmuring!  How many times have you prayed for better? How many times have you worked so hard or real smart for this transition to come into manifestation? Now its here and guess what? it comes with stretching! it needs you to increase your capacity. And it will not be comfortable, if anything it will be very very uncomfortable. This is when you start to complain if you are not focused. This is where you start to fail and consider going back or God forbid, quitting. The Israelites had an amazing miracle happen, they crossed the Red sea- I mean this thing parted into two and they crossed over and saw the destruction of their enemies. A few hours later they were complaining about not having food, about the “good times” they had in Egypt… Like seriously – they somehow forgot about all the crazy beatings and hard life and now were ready to go back!

Like Seriously ?

Why Now, Why me?

Usually I would be excited about new beginnings, I mean a new country or place means new people to meet, new food to taste and new sights to take in. But the truth of it all was, that I was scared. No terrified. In as much as I had an open opportunity, I didn’t know where to start. The so called newness was overwhelming, and I believe I started to feel an anxiety attack.

This is what I wanted, this is what I needed, this is what I was looking forward to…. but now I wasn’t sure. Did I make the wrong decision? Oh Lord what did I do? Why now? Why me? What now? This is a new country, a new territory, I don’t know anyone, all my courage at that moment just seemed to drop off like melted butter. What should I do? Do I turn back? I can always come back later, when I am more sure of the plan. Oh yes! the plan!

Where is my plan? What was my plan? Whose plan was this anyway? I decided it was best at the moment to get through immigration and customs and get to the hotel first. Any going back would be done tomorrow… or maybe if I just got something to eat, calm myself down I would be able to have a bit of clarity and listen. As the Bible says

Be still and know that I am God

Psalms 46 v10

Photo by brittany on Pexels.com