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Happy Valentines day to you all.
I hope this year, we will love each other every day, even after the flowers have died and the chocolates are eaten. 🙂
I have a dear friend who I called up yesterday to say hello and to request a meet up or catch up. We have not seen each other in at least two years.
I know. How can he be such a dear friend if we have not been in contact for two years?
Well, we were in university together, he was one of those people who knew from the get go, what he wanted to do and where he was going, I on the other hand was not too sure. We were opposites and we got along real good. Our friendship grew in such a way that even when we both finished university, we remained friends, and when it was time to say I do to our significant others – we were there. We have been through each of us becoming parents, the ups and downs of our lives and family issues.
Then a few years ago, I did something. I asked for his help and he gave it to me. I promised to repay this deed, and I did not. In the beginning when I could see that the promise I made, I would not be able to honor it, I did not know what to do. So I kept busy, we did meet in between, but I started to feel so bad and guilty. Eventually I could not bring myself to meet up with him. The guilt had turned into shame.
I would wonder how he and his family were doing, and then get back to my life with the guilt and shame tacked safely at the back of my mind. I wrestled with what to do, as the months turned into years. And somehow I just kept moving on.
Oh how I missed our friendship, our chats, our kids playing, our reviews of the years and plans, wondering why I let this happen in the first place. Every year, I would pluck up the courage to call him and say hello and just as the courage would come the shame, fear and guilt would come too. I would then reschedule the call.
Yesterday however, I was asked by a mutual friend, how my friend was doing, and I said he must be doing well. That response was not what they expected at all. I really did not know what to say, I mumbled how we have not really met up and that we have both been super busy with family and work.
But in my heart I knew those where just my excuses. I parted ways with our mutual friend and felt so sad, my heart was heavy, and so I decided to give my dear friend a call, set a date to meet finally and catch up.
Yes, I called his cell phone- response, line busy, I thought oh well , at least I tried. Later on after a lot of debate and hesitation and just sheer determination to get this right I called and within the first ring he picked up and was so happy – he called me by my nickname that he uses, and I was so happy, we chatted briefly and agreed to meet up soon.
I felt so good after that, and I told him that I really want to restore our friendship, it might not be the way it use to be, but at least we can still be friends. I’m getting ready to say sorry to him for everything that I did. Wipe the slate clean and start from today.
I can’t imagine what better way to celebrate Valentines than to say sorry to those I have not done right by, to close that story and start a new book, for us to write new memories and new stories with each other and our families and to remember that in loving our friends and family- sorry is one word that needs to be heard, over and over again.
Best part of love I think is forgiveness. Learn to say sorry.
Have a forgiven day and year!