To Mothers, daughters and sisters – Watch out

There is a quote by Maya Angelou “When people show you who they are, believe them” I think this is the best piece of advise that any person should follow but for today’s message I am especially going to repeat this quote to women; mothers, daughters, and sisters. Do not be fooled especially by men; let me paraphrase so that you understand me better.

When a man shows you who he is – by his actions not words, you better believe that this is who he is.

For example:

If he yells at you in private – he will eventually do it in public because this is who he is.

If he yells at you in private in ear shot of your child or children – sooner or later he will do this too in public, because this is who he is.

If he disrespect’s you in front of your children, he will do it in front of any body. Because somehow somewhere, some men – Fathers, husbands, and brothers seem to think that this is acceptable.

What is amazing is that who teaches men this type of behavior towards any woman? In this day and age men who rape women are no different from those who demean and disrespect any woman just because they can.

Worse – is for my daughter to witness this – right there and then. I wonder was this done so that she will also get to know her “place” by men who think and act like you?  See I can treat your mother like that, so it is okay for your boyfriend or husband to speak to you in the same way and treat you in the same way! Hell NO that is not my portion or my daughter’s You are bound in Jesus Name!

I do not accept that kind of verbal and emotional dress down from you or any other man for that matter.

As I was reminded yesterday; All things work together for good, for those who love the Lord and are called according to His purpose. To all Mother’s, daughters and sisters I would say – take heed, watch out.

That man who keeps on treating you the way he does and you know it is not right will teach your daughters and sisters that this is acceptable; do not accept any type of abuse be it verbal, emotional, physical or psychological.

If you are a Father, husband or brother – be very careful how you treat your mother, wife, and sisters. You will set the tone for who your daughters will end up attracting and low and behold they might end up attracting someone just like you!

I hope this makes you wonder as to what kind of Man are you?

When I show people who I am, they will believe me!

Maya-Angelou-Quotes woman standing up for self

 

 

Advertisements

The Journey- The new normal

So the other day, I was back, happy to be back writing and looking forward to what this life journey would have in store for me.

As I started the Journey to finding self, I wanted to go back to where I had left off, in 2015 and explain why that year was a year of not just self discovery but a year of self acceptance, and getting my authenticity back!

Well life never really goes the way one plans, I guess it would be so mundane if it did go to the exact beat of my drum.
A lot has happened since I wrote the other day, and I do not know where to start, but I wanted to share this part of my journey with you. Why? Well because I am learning new lessons every day and for the past 21 days my idea of life has been shaken, what I consider important or urgent has been moved, the paradigm shift that I thought I had in my life – was shifted again. But this time, I have welcomed it with love and with a good attitude. Ce la vie, or as I have grown to love  – it is what it is.

On this new normal part of the journey, I have come to embrace my lessons, and myself. As a woman, a mother, a sister and a friend. There is a part missing but I am looking forward to going through that part of that journey.

In my new normal, being a mother and daughter has been redefined. I am learning and re learning everything my mother taught me, I am now doing it all for my mother. Patience, kindness, love, forgiveness, friendships, and friends, strength in self, and most important dependence and reliance in God.

To be able to face this new normal life, with grace, to ask for wisdom and understanding, to seek first to understand – than and then to be understood, to be available – totally to this new way of living, and to be thankful that I get to spend this time doing everything I can to help where I can, to make my Mum’s life so much more – sweeter, easier, greener, colorful, more laughter, more sharing, more of anything – to soak up this moment, this life this journey, this new normal and to find time to be grateful.

I welcome the new normal, as a guest, not to stay forever but to help us cross over from this part of the journey of life to the other part that awaits us, a better part, a fuller part, a blessed part a testimony part and most important a journey of courage, impact and growth.

 

 

 

 

Celebrating each other

I have woken up with such a warm feeling today, am feeling so good with myself.

Yes! I am.

When was the last day you felt good about you? This morning? yesterday ? last year?

For many people it is not easy to feel good about yourself, maybe cause you have not achieved your goals for the month, or you have fallen out of the “resolution” mood, and now the reality, that one month has gone in 2015 which you cannot get back.

My advice to you this day is to stop stressing yourself – yes you may have not done what  you set out to do but you can change your mind and start today to get things done.

The best way to do this is by celebrating others.

There are always people around you. Do you notice them? do you notice what they do for you and themselves? Take for example your spouse, do you celebrate them everyday? Do you realize that they chose you? out of so many people in the world they chose you! They love you, they give themselves to you- that is worth celebrating.

What about your children? Do you celebrate them? They listen to you, they are reflections of you- the good the bad the cheeky! love them as they love you, praise them for remembering the house rules, for doing their work well, for them doing their best.

What your office mates? do you really appreciate what they do – so that you get to do what you do? Its all about team work. Do you celebrate your team mates? Are you cheering them on as they cheer you on? Do you motivate, inspire and guide others to be the best that they can be?

What about your social networks – your friends and extended family? Do you have time to visit catch up with them as they tell you about their ups and downs? Do you remind them how valuable they are to you and your family?

Every one in one way or the other is celebrating you, they do this one day at a time, one moment in time.

I suggest that you also take time to do the same, and just maybe you might see that as you celebrate others, in doing so your life has so much more positive energy that you get to spread around.

Today I celebrate you- those who read this blog and share it, those who are out to achieve their dreams, crush their goals and want to give back to the world by being their best~ Hip hip Hurray!

Making Promises

Embed from Getty Images

It’s very easy these days to make promises, to ourselves or to other people around us especially family.

The thing about making promises has a lot to do with an event that either happened without our presence, hence we promise to be there for all other events. Or we made a few mistakes that hurt or harmed someone else or even our own selves and we promise not to repeat the same thing or behavior.

Promises deal a lot with trust and actual follow through.

In the olden days promises were known as covenants and were taken  seriously.  They were kept from one generation to another, from one family to another. They were sealed by mere handshakes and others by signs like the rainbow.

As the year begins, its easy to make so many promises especially to our children.  And if we are to ask our children if they believe that we will keep our promises in 2015 it won’t take them long to review our track record of trust and actual follow through of 2014.

What signs did we use to seal the deals with our kids and did we deliver?

Let 2015 be the year of not just making promises but keeping them in such a way that some become generational.

Genesis 9:16

Here is to making and keeping our 2015 promises.

When I see you smile :)

Embed from Getty Images

When I see you smile, I can face the world,  You know that I can do anything.

I love this song by Uncle Sam, it came out many years ago more than 17 years! I know cause when my daughter was a few months I heard this song and really I just loved her smile. I played it so many times.

I do see a ray of light shining through the rain with just her smile, I can face anything. To me that is what the song meant and still means.

Then came my son and boy was he a busy bundle of energy and joy. He is was and still is my smiling son to this day. I love it when they smile – for sure I know they are my kids cause I am always smiling.

So as the year comes to an end, I hope you can take time to enjoy the festivities and smile.

Many friends and relatives may not tell you but when the see you smile, it makes their day and maybe made their year.

So from my smiling self and my kids!

Let me see you smile!

p.s In case you never heard the song here is the link

 

 

Enjoying living- now

Embed from Getty Images

 

Am still at home – it’s around 10 am.

The kids have closed school. One of them is busy getting her university applications done for next year and the other well is with me – doing some math, calculation of areas to be specific.

We – the kids and I have a deal, in the morning they get to do something read a book, do some math, write a story something, and in the afternoon they get to go out and play – have fun with the dog, swing, swim anything with some activity – climb the trees, build something – and later much later play the Wii- and you can guess all games are all sports and activities no seating down games!

For this am truly grateful, to be able to spend time with my kids and my family.

Not many people get to do this. I have been able to do this due to something that looked to be a disaster but has turned out to be the best blessing ever.

Losing my job and part of my company has made it possible for me to now have this time – time to spend with my children and to appreciate this six figure income journey that I am so determined to achieve.

This made me realize; sometimes we wait for something to happen before we do what we said we would do, but if you think about it we are all living part of our dreams right now -if we are present.

I woke up this morning around 6 am, chattered with my daughter who had to get going to finish up her application, then did my one hour of aerobics, after a while took my breakfast and started my homeschooling time with my son.
When done, am off to conquer the world, I have my appointments set.

After achieving my goals for the day, I can take in some time in the late afternoon, to spend some quiet time with myself and review my day, then join the kids for some family movie or game before dinner, read and get to bed.

I may not have the six figure income yet, but am surely enjoying the lifestyle at the moment.

So I would encourage us all to enjoy this life now- the season you’re in.

It might not be where you want to be or what you thought you wanted for yourself but it comes with such blessing!

Here’s to enjoying your life – your wife, your husband, your children, your family, your job ( yap take time to appreciate that you have one! ) your business, your friends,- Your Life!

Graduation

Life surely can throw you curve balls.

Early this year my daughter left home for a gap year to Port Elizabeth in South Africa.
Before she left she was kicking and screaming how it was not a good idea.  She was very upset about the whole gap year programme.

I on the other hand was thrilled.  She was going to be learning life skills. How many 16 year olds get that opportunity?  I was wishing I was the one going.

Despite my earlier setbacks, she now graduates gap year school.  She has done the most amazing activities and lessons.
Now its time to go for graduation and come back home to see what her future holds.

Am truly blessed. This makes my life and all its ups and downs worth it.

The life of an entrepreneur.